


behind the scenes, filthy edition

by soons



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Barebacking, Bottom Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Coming Untouched, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Exhibitionism, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, M/M, Multiple Partners, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25041994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soons/pseuds/soons
Summary: a nsfw ficlet collection centering soonyoung.1. jeonghan/soonyoung - mature: dirty talk, slight exhibitionism2. shownu/soonyoung, one-sided gyusoon, showheon - explicit: rough sex, hyung-kink, slight size-kink3. seventeen/soonyoung - explicit: vibrators, coming untouched, public... teasing?4. jihoon/soonyoung - mature: really short, one-sided (?) feelings
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kim Mingyu/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Everyone, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Jooheon/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu (mentioned)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 221





	1. jeonghan/soonyoung, mature

**Author's Note:**

> featuring anyone and everyone pretty much because i love soonyoung being used. tags, pairings, and warnings will be updated as i go. please let me know if i miss anything; tagging is kind of hard? any kudos and comments would be appreciated! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan likes to tease Soonyoung on camera. The reward off camera is definitely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/s00nhan/status/1278423739781259269?s=20) video of jeonghan squeezing hoshi's butt in the middle of their interview. poor boy is literally being lifted with how hard jeonghan's groping him.

“Hyung,” Soonyoung whines, “you have to stop teasing me like that in public!”

“Oh?” Jeonghan smirks. “It looked like you liked it though? Getting so cute and smiley for me.”

“I was so embarrassed when I rewatched the interview! E-even Myungho and Seokminnie noticed,” Soonyoung says, cheeks staining pink.

Jeonghan draws closer, wrapping an arm around Soonyoung’s waist to pull him flush against his body, and reaches the other hand down to grope Soonyoung’s small butt. “What’s there to be embarrassed about? You’re mine.” He squeezes hard, digging his fingers into the firm but soft flesh. “Seeing you act all shy and trying not to squirm in front of those cameras made me want to just fuck you right there. To let everyone see how cute and needy you get when you have something inside you. Wouldn’t you like that, Soonie?”

The boy in question quivers, gripping Jeonghan’s shoulders for support as the older whispers hotly into his ear, legs weakening as his mind clouds with want. “B-but-”

Jeonghan thrusts a leg in between Soonyoung’s and presses him against the wall, earning a sweet moan from the dancer as he continues talking. “Imagine all those big camera directors looking at your thighs, your bunched up shorts, and getting hard in their pants, but they can’t touch themselves. No, they still have to film you even though they’d love to do more. Would you help them, baby? Get on your knees and take their fat cocks into that pretty mouth of yours?”

“Hannie-hyung,” Soonyoung cries out weakly, unsure of how the older man wants him to answer. He’s been trying to grind himself against the other’s leg but he can’t get any leverage, Jeonghan’s hard grip on his ass and the way his legs are spread, feet barely touching the ground, making it difficult to move.

Jeonghan pulls away a little to level a gaze at him. Soonyoung’s fingers tighten on his shoulders, wanting his warmth back. “Look at you,” Jeonghan breathes out. “So flushed and desperate from a few sentences. You want that, baby? Being passed around and used like a little cocksleeve?”

“N-no!” Soonyoung shouts, even though his breath hitches, eyes glassy. “I want what you want,” he whimpers. “Want to be good for you.”

“Oh, my sweet boy,” Jeonghan coos, sweeping in to leave pecks all over Soonyoung’s face right after, unable to resist. “You are. So good. Let me take care of you, okay?”

Soonyoung nods, smiling hesitantly at him. He’s happy, but there’s an odd feeling in his gut, like he’s just fallen into a trap. It’s quickly forgotten though as Jeonghan pulls him into a heated kiss, full of tongue.

\---

Soonyoung tries not to stumble into their next interview. Jeonghan stands next to him, grinning widely. The older member doesn’t touch him below the waist the entire time, except for once. It’s only a quick touch of maybe 3 seconds tops, and he doesn’t squeeze this time. It’s infinitely worse though; Soonyoung blushing head to toe when Jeonghan’s hand curves around his butt, two fingers pressing inwards right where he’s still open and sensitive, wet with traces of lube.

Without meaning to, his gaze jumps from Jeonghan to the camera directors, worried that they caught it on tape, ears burning red.

Jeonghan catches it, of course, and laughs. It was going to be a fun night.


	2. shownu/soonyoung, explicit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s okay, you can pretend I’m him. I don’t mind.”
> 
> \---
> 
> Soonyoung likes Mingyu more than he should. Shownu is Jooheon's _leader_. Soonyoung and Shownu have sex with each other because that's easier than dealing with feelings for your teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this happened while thinking of that dancer’s collab dispatch had. shownu x soonyoung are sooo cute. and hot. at a fansign, jooheon responded to a post-it that a sweet trick he learned was, “shownu hyung~~” so. there's that.

Shownu calls him up one day, late at night. Soonyoung doesn’t mind; he was in the practice studio anyway, staring at the mirror and not getting any work done.

“Yes, hyung?”

“Can I pick you up?” Shownu asks, always honest and direct.

“Sure. I’m at the studio so I’ll send you the address.”

“See you soon, Hoshi.”

They hang up, and Soonyoung gathers up his things, rushing through a shower. His hair is still damp and the cool breeze makes him shiver as he waits outside for Shownu’s car to pull up.

It doesn’t take long, but once he gets in he can tell that something’s wrong. Shownu greets him kindly, and they make small talk, but Shownu’s eyes are tight around the edges, and his grip on the steering wheel is harder than it needs to be.

“Shownu-hyung?” he asks, reaching out tentatively for the other’s hand.

The older man’s jaw clenches before he relaxes and turns his hand so Soonyoung can hold it.

“Sorry. It’s been a bad day. I’m sorry for calling you out too, I just thought—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I already told you I was fine with it. I like it,” Soonyoung cuts off, not wanting Shownu to feel any worse than he already does. “Besides, you’re helping me out too, remember?”

That draws a small smile from the other male. They spend the rest of the car ride in easy silence, broken only by the soft music playing on the stereo. When they pull into the familiar parking lot of the hotel, Soonyoung pulls a baseball cap low over his head and leaves the car first.

It also gives him time to get ready first, so by the time Shownu makes his way into the hotel room, Soonyoung is already naked on the bed, sloppily stretching himself with two lubed fingers. The sound Shownu makes when he sees him is so similar to a growl that it sends shivers all over Soonyoung’s skin, and then the taller man is stripping so fast that Soonyoung rushes to finish prepping himself before he’s covered by a big body.

Shownu always makes him feel so small, so tiny in bed. Everywhere he touches is glowing skin and warm muscles. Shownu kisses him hard, easily folding him as he settles in between Soonyoung’s spread legs, and grinds their bare hips together.

“Oh god,” Soonyoung gasps, and Shownu moves to sucking bruises into his chest when he throws his head back. “Fuck me, I’m ready, please, hyung.”

“Are you sure? I can stretch you a bit more.” Shownu’s big hands caress his body, playing with his nipples, lighting him on fire.

He’d only stretched himself with two fingers, and knows that it’s not enough. He shakes his head, trying to calm down. “Just more lube.”

Shownu listens, pulling away to pour lube into the wide palm of his hand. Soonyoung watches as the older man wraps the same hand around his thick cock, slicking it up.

“Hyung, that’s so hot. Please, please, I want you inside,” he begs, shameless. Heat races to his face, and along his body, but this is something he loves too.

Shownu’s eyes are dark, drinking him up. Soonyoung squirms beneath the gaze. “You know what to say, honey.”

“Shownu-hyung,” he whines. He knows. He’s heard Jooheon say it a hundred times, calling for his leader’s attention. “Shownu-hyung, please.”

He could’ve kept going, but that’s all it takes for Shownu to break. 

Still, Shownu’s self-control is noteworthy. A gentleman through and through as he slowly splits Soonyoung open with his cock, hungry eyes watching Hoshi’s face in case it’s too much. Soonyoung throws his head back, jaw clenched tight as his body is forced to accommodate Shownu’s thick length.

The older dancer lets him catch his breath, thrusting shallowly into Soonyoung’s tight heat and drawing whimpers from the smaller male. The stretch burns but the heavy full feeling is intoxicating.

“Come on, Shownu-hyung. You can be rough,” Soonyoung pants out. “I was a bad boy today, right? I made you mad?”

Shownu groans, thrusts speeding up a little and hips snapping harder. Soonyoung knows his eyes are teary, feels so messy and lit up. It’s okay; he knows Shownu won’t judge. Not when they fuck to let the dark parts out.

“H-hyung. Honey needs to be punished?” he asks, knowing he's playing with fire, hands coming up to pinch and pluck his own nipples as he blinks up at the other with half-lidded eyes.

Shownu fucks him so hard after that that Soonyoung knows he’s going to feel it tomorrow, and maybe even the day after. He doesn’t think Shownu would ever fuck Jooheon like this, and that does something to him, too. This is something only he can take, something he deserves. The frustration matches his own. The pain almost edges out the pleasure at times, but Soonyoung just clings onto the other’s wide back when Shownu blankets his body, crying out at each thrust.

“Harder! God, fuck, feels so good,” he babbles, until even words leave him as Shownu fucks him senseless, until all that’s left is motion and feeling. The overwhelming feeling of being taken apart. High moans leave his lips until Shownu leans down to kiss him, bending him until his knees are close to his chest, pressing in even more with the position, fucking him so deeply like that. Soonyoung can feel him all the way to his abdomen, down to his toes, each hard brush against his prostate like a shock to his bones.

“Shownu-hyung,” he sobs, and Shownu holds his hips down, speeding up his thrusts until Soonyoung feels his eyes rolling back, back arching sharply as he comes messily onto both their stomachs and chest. Shownu fucks him through his climax, and for a few thrusts after, before the older man finds his own peak, ejaculating into Soonyoung’s overused hole.

Soonyoung whimpers at the feeling of hot come and Shownu quickly pulls out after he’s done, a string of semen following him.

“I should’ve asked first. Sorry,” Shownu says, reaching for the tissues on the bedside table.

“Don’t be silly. How many times do I have to tell you that I like it?” Soonyoung says. And he does. Feeling open, feeling owned.

“Still,” Shownu retorts, but he smiles fondly down at Soonyoung. “Do you want me to help you shower?”

It’s a nice offer. Sweet Shownu. But this isn’t one of the things he deserves. This isn’t frustration that he can understand, this isn’t affection that is for him. “It’s okay, hyung. I’ll take care of it later.”

“Okay,” Shownu says. “Let me just grab a wet towel for now.”

Soonyoung watches him go to the hotel bathroom, all long limbs, tan skin, and wide shoulders. Sometimes they look and feel so similar. His heart aches. 

After Shownu returns with the dampened towel, after he helps him gently clean up the mess between his thighs and on his stomach, Soonyoung asks, “Do you feel a little better now?”

The smile Shownu gives him is sincere, even if it has a hint of bitterness to it. Soonyoung understands.

The older man softly pats his head and says, “Yes, I do. Thank you, Soonyoungie.”

  
\---  
  


Soonyoung limps past the living room, trying to be as quiet as possible as he makes his way to his room. It’s past 3 in the morning already. Maybe he should’ve gone back to the studio and slept there.

“Hoshi-hyung?”

He startles, clutching his bag to his chest and whipping his head towards the voice. Mingyu’s on the couch, illuminated by the light from his laptop screen where it’s now sitting abandoned on the side.

“W-What are you doing like a creeper in the dark like that?” Soonyoung asks. He isn’t prepared for this. Not now. _Why now?_ “You’re on the wrong floor.”

“I was waiting for you to come home. You weren’t answering your phone, and you weren’t at the studio,” Mingyu says, and Soonyoung instantly feels guilty even though he knows he shouldn’t.

“You make it sound like I never go out,” Soonyoung says, forcing a lightness he doesn’t feel. “Did you need something? It’s kinda late but I can help you if it’s urgent.”

Thankfully, Mingyu shakes his head. “Minghao helped me figure it out earlier. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

“O-oh, thanks, Mingyu,” Soonyoung stutters. This is the worst conversation he could be having at this time. It’s three in the fucking morning, why can’t he catch a break? “Well, good night.”

Apparently, that’s the wrong thing to say, because Mingyu gets up. Long legs, wide shoulders, a hand soft on Soonyoung’s shoulder turning him to fully face the taller boy. Soonyoung holds his bag closer to his chest, knuckles aching with how tightly he’s grasping. “Hyung, are you okay?”

He still needs to shower. There are marks all over his chest, blooming bright. He can still feel where he’s been fucked raw, gaping and used. Open and sensitive. Dirty. His heart is an ugly, hungry thing. He nods, but Mingyu doesn’t look like he believes him.

“Can I, can I just have a hug?” he asks before he can stop himself.

Mingyu still looks worried, but the smile he gives Soonyoung is wide and beautiful. “Of course, hyung.”

Then he’s being embraced, so smothered and warm as Mingyu holds him tight. The other man tucks him close, bodies flush, and Soonyoung automatically tilts his head up, finding that space by Mingyu’s neck as Mingyu squeezes him. It feels just like it always does, feels just like home. It’s more than he deserves. He’s the worst.

Soonyoung lets go, and hugs him back.


	3. seventeen/soonyoung, explicit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "imagine soonyoung with a vibrating plug in his hole and his members passing the remote control amongst themselves during a vlive and soonyoung has to keep quiet ♥"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from an anon on [my cc](https://curiouscat.qa/soonyoungah). if you guys remember that vlive where they’re in a hotel room and scattered about on the bed, dressed in all black. yes. similar setting. ah, and it's a vibrating dildo, not a plug. :)

“What do you think, Hoshi?” Jeonghan asks, making the younger boy startle and turn his head towards the other.

“S-sorry. What was the question again?” Soonyoung stutters, trying to fight down his blush but knowing it was hopeless by the wide grins on the members’ faces. Faintly, he hopes that there’s a filter on the live, or that the lighting was too dark, so fans won’t be able to see his red cheeks. Sweat beads at his hairline and he wants to dab at it, but he clutches harder at the pillow in his lap instead, low vibrations wracking up his spine.

“What was the most difficult part of the dance this time?” Jeonghan repeats. “Was there anything that was particularly… hard?”

At the last word, the vibrations inside his sensitive hole ramp up, and Soonyoung’s thighs tremble. He bites hard on his lip and tries to play it off like he was thinking about the question. Jeonghan’s hands are free, so he doesn’t know who has the remote, doesn’t know who to turn pleading eyes onto.

“I-I don’t think so,” he voices. Next to him, Joshua squeezes his shoulder hard, grounding.

“Oh, hyung! What about the second chorus?” Mingyu asks, eyes twinkling with mischief. “I remember you practicing that one move a lot.”

“Yeah, Hoshi. Why don’t you show us?” Seungcheol says, and it’s not a question.

Before he knows it, hands are pulling the cushion from his lap and pushing him to stand. He stumbles briefly on shaky legs, but the vibrations turn off a second later. He catches Jihoon’s eye from the edge of his vision, and there the remote is, held loosely between Jihoon’s beautiful fingers.

The members count down the beat for him, and his body follows automatically, dancing in a blur that he doesn’t even remember. He’s thankful for Jihoon, but the thick vibrator still shifts and presses against him with every movement, even when turned off. His entire face is flaming by the end of the 10-second dance, too conscious of the bulge in his pants, the toy stretching his rim, and the members’ hungry gazes.

They clap when he finishes, pouring compliments. It’s more praise than a short demo deserves, words of, “Wow, you’re amazing,” and “Good job, Soonyoung-ah,” flooding the room as he turns his back to the camera, looking for his spot. Tears burn his eyes for a short second, overwhelmed, but he blinks them back. He’s being good. Their good boy.

Conversation continues around him, Seungkwan smoothly moving the topic along. The members on the bed have spreaded out a little bit when he’d gotten up to dance, his spot overtaken by Jun’s long limbs and Joshua’s hand as the older man leans back on it. Soonyoung puts a knee gingerly onto the bed, unsure and clenching subconsciously, knowing that the vibrations could start again any second.

Jun raises an eyebrow at him and grasps his wrist, pulling him to sit back in his spot anyway. Soonyoung gasps as he falls half onto Jun’s lap, toy thrust deeper into him at the impact. Numerous pairs of eyes land on him at the sound, but he can’t help the way his eyes roll back at the pleasure, lips parted as he sucks in a stuttered breath. Minghao puts a hand on his neck before the breath turns into a moan, a clear warning.

Thankfully, Joshua’s body has him mostly shielded from view of the cameras and the two overworked managers. Soonyoung only has a second to collect himself, righting himself with a little help from Junhui, before he’s back in frame. Seungcheol is starting closing ments, from what Soonyoung can dazedly make out, and he almost breathes out a sigh of relief, until he sees the remote in Wonwoo’s hand.

Wonwoo twirls the remote around, playing with it like it wasn’t the very cause of Soonyoung’s suffering, and smiles brightly at him from across the room. That’s all the warning he gets before Soonyoung feels hard vibrations tearing apart his insides, stronger than what the other members tried on him earlier. It takes everything he has to hold back his scream, teeth clenched so tightly that his jaw hurts, buzzing so loud in his ears that he’s sure that everyone else could hear it too.

Soonyoung forces himself to keep his eyes open, to keep quiet, and not melt into the bed like he wants to. Wonwoo thumbs the vibrations on and off quickly, pressing at the buttons like he was playing a game; one that Soonyoung was sure to lose. 

He’s right on the edge, so close to just coming in his pants, in front of the camera and for everyone to see, when the members suddenly start saying their goodbyes.

Jun takes one of his hands from where it’s clenched in the back of Joshua’s t-shirt, and waves it at the camera. He forces Soonyoung to energetically bid the fans goodbye with him, and Soonyoung is secretly thankful again, but his mind is predominantly occupied with how Junhui’s chest presses flush against his back with the action. The vibrations haven’t stopped.

He watches as Chan swoops his palm in to cover and turn off the camera.  _ That’s my job,  _ he thinks faintly, going absolutely limp in Junhui’s hold, body shaking. Other members stand up and crowd around the bed, talking loudly and shielding him again as the staff gather papers and remind them to sleep early. Joshua pets his hair all the while, smiling fondly down at him.

Finally, the sound of the door clicking shut echoes around the hotel room. More than hearing it, Soonyoung knows they’re alone when Joshua tilts his face and kisses him. Soonyoung really sobs in relief then, scrambling to pull the other closer to him, hips rising off the bed and searching for friction.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, baby,” the older soothes, “I’ve got you.”

Hands are all over him, petting his hair, stroking his nape and helping tug off his clothes. He whimpers, letting go of Joshua and falling back onto the bed when someone unzips his pants. His trapped erection springs free, boxers and pants being dragged off in one go by Mingyu.

“Look at you, baby,” Jeonghan praises, “so pretty and wet for us.”

Soonyoung can’t respond, so far gone, hips thrusting into empty air as the vibrator continues its ministrations inside his hole. Hands spread his knees, pressing them upwards to expose him further, and it’s too hard for Soonyoung to tell who’s who. He wants to come so badly, feeling the way pre-cum slides down his dick and creates a wet sheen against his flat stomach as he’s bent in half.

“Please, please, please,” he chants. Hands hold his, and Minghao quiets him again, this time with sloppy kisses and nips. When he pulls away, there’s someone else pressing long fingers into his mouth, weighing heavy on his tongue, and yet another hand wraps around his neck, fingers just resting there gently. Two mouths suck at his nipples and chest, leaving marks. It’s all too much; his body feels like it’s burning from inside out.

Wonwoo fucks the vibrator roughly in and out of him, and Soonyoung knows it’s Wonwoo, always testing his limits, before imbedding it deep inside of him so that the vibrations shake right through his core, right there against his prostate. 

Fingers wrap around his ankles when his legs kick out, holding him in place, and more grip at his thighs as he tries to squirm away from the white-hot pleasure, so strong that it borders on pain. Soonyoung sobs, tears flooding his eyes, as his climax washes endlessly over him, coming with his cock untouched despite the numerous hands on every other part of his body.

They milk him for so long that Soonyoung’s sure he must’ve blacked out, unseeing as his prostate was abused, until their hands slowly start retreating. His legs are gently lowered to the bed, where they twitch from the aftermath of his orgasm. Someone must’ve turned the vibrator off. 

Soonyoung clumsily grasps onto the wrist of the hand in his mouth before it can pull away, sucking at the slender fingers. It’s Jihoon, he realizes, blinking up at the younger boy. Jihoon gazes back at him, thumbing his tears away with his other hand before it settles on the side of his face, rubbing his round cheeks.

Jihoon gives him a moment before he removes his fingers from Soonyoung’s soft mouth, pressing in with his thumb instead to reduce the ache of his jaw. Jihoon knows him so well, giving him something to anchor him while still taking care. His fingers squeeze Jihoon’s wrist, hoping Jihoon knows how much he loves him. He whimpers around Jihoon’s thumb when someone turns him onto his side. His legs feel like jello, insides so sensitive and rim stretched wide.

“Seungcheol is going to help you. Can you let him, Soonie?” Jihoon says, and Soonyoung feels the other leader settle behind him to spoon him close. Soonyoung nods, glad that he doesn’t have to speak. “You can just focus on me if it’s too much.”

And it is too much, Seungcheol’s arm wrapped all the way around his waist as he holds him in place. The other reaches between his legs and tries to work the toy out of his hole as gently as possible. He couldn’t really feel it before, so overwhelmed by the vibrations and thickness itself, but now that the need to come has passed, each ridge of the ribbed toy as it drags against his entrance is excruciating.

Soonyoung doesn’t remember squeezing his eyes shut, doesn’t even realize that he’s crying again, until he opens them to Jihoon lying down in front of him and shushing him with little kisses over his face. Jihoon presses his mouth open with his thumb to kiss him properly, tongues sliding together. Soonyoung tries to get closer to him on instinct, arms wrapping around Jihoon’s middle to hug him close.

Seungcheol frees the vibrator with a final tug, and Soonyoung whines at the empty feeling, both relieved yet aching, sore hole gaping slightly after being forced open for so long. Jihoon swallows the sound up easily and holds him tighter, Seungcheol a hot line against his back, solid as a wall. He trembles between the two of them, feeling cut open but safe and protected as they hold him together.

“Thank you, Coups-hyung,” Soonyoung murmurs sweetly when he finds his voice again. “What about you? And the others?”

“It’s okay, honey. They’re washing up. We’ll get our turn later,” Seungcheol reassures. “You did so well, so beautifully, for us. You have to rest up now, okay?”

There’s no space for doubt there, in between them. Exhaustion pulls his eyelids closed, and love wraps him up as he listens to the gentle command. Some of the other members join them after they’re done getting ready for bed, smiling down at Soonyoung’s sleeping face and sandwiching the leaders in even more. 

It’s a tight fit, but they wouldn’t have it any other way, the members falling asleep with their sweet boy.


	4. jihoon/soonyoung, mature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon uses Soonyoung’s body, Soonyoung uses Jihoon’s heart. Or something like that.

“What do you want, Soonyoung-ah?”

“Make me cry,” Soonyoung whispers, so small. “Make me forget my name. I don’t want to think anymore.”

Jihoon wants to protect Soonyoung from everything dark and cruel. It’s unfair that someone so bright is plagued by shadows. Jihoon wants to swallow them all. Instead, he sinks his nails into the skin of Soonyoung’s hips, bruising, and fucks him so roughly that Jihoon feels something crack inside his own heart.

Soonyoung, of course, cries. Overwhelmed tears drip down his pretty face that Jihoon kisses off his cheeks, and he scratches at Jihoon’s shoulders and back, legs twisting around his body, hugging Jihoon close as he pounds into him.

Somewhere in between their mess of limbs and flushed skin, Soonyoung comes. Jihoon loses himself in Soonyoung’s body and then finds his way out to clean them up in the aftermath.

“Thank you,” Soonyoung mumbles, fucked out and sleepy, as Jihoon tucks him in. “I love you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon grins gently down at him and brushes his bangs away from his face, hand lingering on the soft curve of his cheek. “I know,” he replies.  _ But not the way I want you to.  _ “I love you, too.”

Soonyoung smiles, eyelids falling to a close, face smoothing out into serene lines. Jihoon wants to slide into bed with him, to hold him tight as they tumble through dreams together. Soonyoung’s bed swallows him up so well, wrapping him in a nest of blankets, pillows, and gifts of affection. Jihoon can’t find a place for himself in it when they’re not having sex.

_ What do you want, Soonyoung-ah?, _ and Soonyoung has never asked him to stay. Jihoon leaves a kiss on his temple, a wish for sweet dreams, and watches Soonyoung for a moment to make sure he’s safely asleep.

It always feels like he’s leaving a piece of himself behind when he walks away from Soonyoung, but he doesn’t mind. He knows that Soonyoung’s heart is big enough to encompass the whole universe, even if Soonyoung himself doesn’t believe it. Jihoon’s feelings are so small in comparison, and his courage smaller still.

He turns off the lights, and closes the door behind him with a soft click.

Outside, the city has swallowed all the stars. The walk back to his studio is quick, but the cool air still bites at his skin and makes him want warm blankets and even warmer skin pressed against his. He shakes it off once he’s in front of the screen, melodies and notes drawing him in.

It’s bittersweet.


End file.
